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Take note, Brand Atlanta

17 Sep

AJC’s Newcomer blog (they have so many blogs!) is understandably fed up with and confused by all the arbitrary rankings of Atlanta in various periodicals, so they ask their readers what Atlanta actually is best at or where they think the city ranks in the top. The expression “to damn with faint praise” comes to mind when reading the positive responses, but that happens any time someone tries to sell Atlanta as a desirable place to live.

And naturally, like all opportunities for anonymous people to post their opinions anywhere on AJC.com, things tailspin from thinly-veiled racism to overt bigotry immediately. However, some of the comments were hilarious, either because they were legitimately clever, really creepy, or bizarre in their perspective on our demographics:

Atlanta has become a nightmarish hell hole full of arrogant, self-centered people. It started happening around late 1991, and then exploded in 1996 after the Olympics.

I could go on and on but my take is we’re like an A-/B+ student rather than a savant in one subject which is fine w/me.

I love looking and laughing at all the fat/overweight/potbellies men and women walk by when I visit Midtown,Downtown, All over town. Nothing beats that when you are trying to enjoy whatever ATL has to offer. Which is NOTHING.Go to Turner field to enjoy a ballgame-fat people. Go to the Aquarium to enjoy sealife-fat people sweating profusely.Go to Stone Mountain to enjoy nature-fat people who can’t walk or hike no more than a few steps. Atlanta is good for laughing at and staring at FAT people. Priceless.

If Dana doesn’t win the Sexy Legs contest, I’ll buy her tickets to see Tina Turner

I think were #1 or #2 on the homeless peoples best place to move to. We also have the largest numbers of elevators and stairwells that smell like urine. Also, number one in stranger on stanger murders. We also are number one in attractions that only need to be seen once every decade or so.

Worst: ITP snobs who think ATL is the best in every category (and especially better than the ‘burbs). Best: the weather (btw, it’s the same in the ‘burbs as intown).

Lotta big a** women in the ATL ! Too many buffets & AYCE specials.

Can’t we do something to attract more Asians. Sure some of their food smells weird and some put “unique” features on their lawns, but in 50 years we might actually have a flying car. I would also love to see our beloved BET award show replaced with a quality manufacturing and engineering show.

This city is SO WEIRD. BTW, the weather is not the same here as it is in the suburbs, because it is like a tornado alley or something up there.

Mapping what just wasn’t meant to be

6 Sep

Here’s a map of the most popular place in each state for Craigslist’s Missed Connections. In most states, Wal-Mart and Starbucks seem to be the hot locations for anonymous unrequited lust, but in Georgia it’s… L.A. Fitness? Are there that many L.A. Fitnesses in Georgia or do the L.A. Fitnesses just attract a lot of horny but passive singles? I think yes to the latter question, because I just looked up L.A. Fitnesses in Georgia – there are 22 and all in metro Atlanta, including Lenox, Atlantic Station, and fake singles hotspot neighborhood North Druid Hills.

You can buy this map on Very Small Array or check out their other aesthetically pleasing maps that break down missed connections by gender, type of location, hair color, and age.

Also, I just found out that if you walk around a store with an empty shopping basket it means you are looking to hook up. FYI.

Previously: Dating by design

Dragon*Con Spectatorship

1 Sep

My husband and I did try to make it to the Dragon*Con parade on Saturday so that we could expose our infant daughter to some of the most dedicated sci-fi and fantasy fans in the nation, but we were late and basically just got some pictures of everyone milling around downtown. Later, my husband went back with a friend and drank at the super cool Marriot bar (you don’t have to have a Dragon*Con pass to do that) and took some photos. It seems that after dark, there is something of a mood shift. No more pint-sized Batmans with plastic masks and prefabricated spandex costumes. Instead, it looks like there was some out of this world T&A.

I wish my fondness for season 27 of Dr. Who gave me the necessary fuel to dress up like a Dalek and attend the festivities, but I’m just not ready. In the mean-time, I like to sit back and watch. But let me be clear. I am not in any way making fun of anyone who attends Dragon*Con. Or dresses up. My hat is off to people who are that comfortable with their affection for stuff that may or may not have earned them swirlies in high school. Seriously. Good on you guys. But next year, please bring back the Ghostbusters costumes. I didn’t see a single one in 2008.

(more…)

This week in Thomas Wheatley

28 Aug

It’s good to know that when things get busy outside of Pecanne Log Internet World, Thomas Wheatley has taken up the job of keeping his cult of personality well-maintained so I can pick back up where I left off. Also, despite his attempt at becoming the poor man’s Flip Spiceland, he’s managed to stay provocative as ever by following the Bigfoot beat and posting a video of Bigfoot’s testicles. Good work, Thomas, and happy belated 32nd birthday. If you all see him liveblogging somewhere tonight, buy him a celebratory baked potato.

More local romantic getaways with your online lovers

4 Aug

The recommendations for Facebook date locations continue to roll in over at Access Atlanta, but these two creative suggestions that are decidedly un-Starbucksy caught my eye. These might also double as “best place to say ‘I do’ in Atlanta.”

Alone under 14th St Bridge at Dusk. I stay in the shadows for 10-15 mins just to see how they behave.

Of course I like to exchange credit references and college certificates beforehand, it helps keep the crazy’s away.

and:

I tend to bring my facebook dates to my freshly dug cellar under my house, its really quite cozy.

If anyone tries out either of these hotspots, send me a review of how it went!

Previously: AJC is obsessed with “The Face Book”

AJC is obsessed with “The Face Book”

31 Jul

Now (as of Tuesday) that the AJC has its own Facebook page, they are milking their keen readership for tips on how to exploit this page for the benefit of their collective sex lives. However, they may not understand that Facebook is slightly different from, say, Adult Friend Finder.

Access Atlanta is trying to make their “Best of the Big A” issue sooooo 2008 so they want to know: Where’s the best place to meet a Facebook date in metro Atlanta?

Let’s set aside the unfortunate truth that you trimmed 40 pounds off yourself in your online description…But where to meet? Starbucks?

A) Okay, Facebook definitely doesn’t ask for weight or even the most basic physical description because it’s not a dating site. B) The only place any commenters can mention by name is Starbucks due to their vulnerability to the power of suggestion.

Still, others wanted to weigh in on the whole concept of taking out someone you met on Facebook:

How about the loser cafe! Because you have to go online to get a date!

meet her on myspace, that always works…

If you’re trying to pick up people on Facebook, you’re most likely meeting them at Chuck E. Cheese.

Also, commenter “What?” cruelly pointed out a typo in Phil Kloer‘s post, but don’t worry, Phil – “sixfig” has your back:

Phil OWNED the first comment poster(What). I bet (what) talks smack all the time online on AJC, but when confronted he backs down like the little biaaaotch he is. Quit hating so much. You admitted you were only in editor in Carrolton (middle of nothing. Your papers only go out once on Sunday so you had a whole week to edit it. Way to go Phil; keep chin checking these internet haters. I’m going to find out who that guy was, and we can go to his job and find faults in everything he does.


Previously: Access Atlanta commenters are damaged goods

Boy crazy

24 Jul

I couldn’t help but notice over the past week the way the liberal mainstream media is trying to misrepresent Pecanne Log. Threatened by our lethal mix of cleverness, sensuality, and the ability to post links and pictures, the boys’ club over at Fresh Loaf – in their velvet smoking jackets covered in pins featuring anarchist slogans – is busy filling cyberspace with cruel, libelous accusations that we are a drooling bunch of catty, estrogen-charged teeny-boppers in order to discredit our seriousness as FEMALE “bloggers”!

Another new post at Pecanne Log means another opportunity for a gratuitous shout-out to Wheatley.

I’m still trying to figure this one out, but the ladies at Pecanne Log seem to have this inexplicable crush on our own Thomas Wheatley, to the point they appear to gush over him with every post.

…the sirens at Pecanne Log can’t get enough of [Thomas Wheatley].

They’re already fighting over the [rich guy] with the boat.

Every post? Hardly! And do you see how they are summoning allusions to deadly mythological bird-women who were hellbent on leading men to destruction in order to propagate fear and distrust amongst our loyal readership? Do not be deceived! Except by Thomas Wheatley, because he is a COPPER FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join Atlanta’s civilian infantry

18 Jul

If you haven’t visited Walk Score yet, maybe you should. The site ranks over 2000 neighborhoods in the 40 largest U.S. cities based on their walkability. Atlanta as a whole placed #22 with 52 (out of 100) points, but individual neighborhoods in the city have higher and lower scores – 51% of Atlantans apparently live in car-dependent neighborhoods.

Walk Score determined that our most walkable neighborhoods are Five Points (which isn’t really residential), Poncey-Highland, and Sweet Auburn. The score is based on proximity of various crucial urban amenities – grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops, schools, etc. You can type in your address to see your neighborhood’s score and a map of all the useful things you can walk to within a mile.

While the algorithm Walk Score uses isn’t perfect, and they don’t take issues like safety, quality/quantity of sidewalks, or access to public transit into account when indexing locations, it’s still a good starting point if you’re looking to move somewhere intown where a car isn’t necessary.

Previously: We’re so walkable we don’t even know it

Tucker’s sugar daddies are waiting for your call

18 Jul

Like Thomas Wheatley, you’ve probably already blown your entire economic stimulus check on ring pops and fertilizer, so here’s a way to make ends meet until the $7.62 check for your short story in the February 2005 Count Dracula Fan Club News-Journal finally gets here:

MySpace ads are such great matchmakers! So much easier than trolling Famous and the Falafel King in “North Druid Hills” for Emory law and/or medical students. They’re not rich yet.

P.S., I’ve already called dibs on “urdaddybuc” so don’t even bother. It looks like he has a boat.

Previously: Where my boys at

How people are finding Pecanne Log

16 Jul

From WordPress:

Thanks, whoever you are. I hope you found what you wanted.

It’s June 28 and we are still waiting on Spencer Sloan’s WALL-E review

28 Jun


Pretty much since the start of 2008, The Goldenfiddle Internet Empire has been all a-blog/a-tumblr/a-twitter about WALL-E, which has been in Atlanta theaters for over 24 hours at this point. AND WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT HE THOUGHT OF IT! We’ve been putting up with six months of hype! We deserve an answer! (Are there any steamy robot sex scenes?)

So I heard that unemployment is B-A-D in Atlanta

28 Jun

and I decided to provide some classifieds listings culled from Creative Loafing. You can thank me later once you’ve landed one of these fantastic and clearly legitimate employment opportunities.

***Teeth Whitening Kit Sales People Needed*** $$$

posted: June 27, 2008, 04:39 PM

Reply: dp@icusys.com

http://arealopportunityforrealpeople.com/ Commission based sales!

Salary/Wage: Comission

Model talent explosion seeking talet in all genres with models…

posted: June 27, 2008, 01:31 PM
MODEL Talent Explosion seeking talet in all genres with models & designers. Local cable/internet television. Industry professionals present. Wednesday night, Crowe’s Nest, 5495 Old National Hwy, College Park GA 30349, 8PM. Call (678) 887-4881 www.myspace.com/talentexplosion www.youtube.com/adonismodels

Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland Needs You

posted: June 27, 2008, 07:05 AM

Reply: jonathandaledesk@yahoo.co.uk

FROM THE DESK OF:
JONATHAN DALE
Independent Consultant,
Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland
Hillsborough, Ireland BT26 6DR

Dear Sir/Ma,

I just resigned my job as aresearch scientist for ARINI (Agricultural Research Institute of Northern Ireland but I still work as a freelance consultant for the institute which gives me very much time to do my own work which is basically being a freelance researcher who could be employed by research institutes to do research projects anywhere in the world. Presently, I have just been granted a funding to head a research project in the tropical regions of West Africa regarding rare and vulnerable plant species and this would be commencing very soon. This research program will be funded and sponsored by some of my American counterparts. But the only set back is that the American counterparts want to make fun for the research informs of US in any form. Getting an accountant in thes state or opening an account would have been my best choice but I have a deadline to meet and taking any of those choices would cost me time and a whole lot of other requirements, which I am not ready to deal with. There is where is need your assistant and service.

WHAT I NEED YOU FOR?

At this point, I will be glad if you could work with me as my representative in the US,CANADA. You will be working as my payment assistant in charge of collecting and processing the fund from the Associates. Contact Jonathan Dale for more information

JONATHAN DALE
NOTE: ONLY SERIOUS AND INTERESTED APPLICANTS/WORKERS
SHOULD PLEASE CONTACT US

Salary/Wage: $1000
Status: Part-time

Atlanta Shorts

28 May

While cruising the WABE website for fun and interesting information, I stumbled across some information about Atlanta Shorts. This show seems like a lot of fun. The show comes on PBA late at night, but I bet it’s worth it. Local filmmakers? How fun! Shorts are great because they either leave you wanting more, or they end quickly. And if you watch the promo video on their MySpace page, I swear there’s a flash of Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock. I love him!

Here’s a fun video from the show that a GSU student made:

Recognize this guy? His video sort of freaks me out, but the voices are fun. And neat looking animation.

By the way, I will be tagging Pete Wentz on every blog entry I write from here on out. According to the WordPress stats, we get at least a hit a day based off of that search term. Sweet!

It was too good to be true

8 May

SuperDeluxe is apparently being absorbed into Adult Swim! It’s nothing like when Nike bought Converse, NYU took over CBGBs, or Rupert Murdoch bought MySpace – first of all, SuperDeluxe and Adult Swim are bffs under Turner so it does make sense for them to combine powers (like some other Turner alums, the Planeteers). And basically, comedy sites seem popular but don’t generate enough revenue to stay up for long.

From the internal memo (via Washington Post):

Super Deluxe.com and Adult Swim.com, we have businesses whose potential for individual growth is limited by their increasingly complementary content. Rather than position them as competitors for the same audience, the smarter move is to consolidate the two brands to create a richer, stronger platform that builds on Adult Swim’s number-one position with young adults.

Meanwhile, Videogum has up the 10 best SuperDeluxe videos of all time (including my SD fave, Chelsea Peretti’s “All My Exes”) in memory of the hilarious times we all shared, alone in our bathrobes, watching comedy videos on our computers.
from www.superdeluxe.com posted with vodpod
from www.superdeluxe.com posted with vodpod

I <3 Public Access

26 Apr

For all of you that couldn’t quite get behind Ms Tyler and her vagina power, I hope this will bring tears to your eyes. Make sure to pay attention when Eli tries to rhyme something with cripple.

Big news

21 Apr

Strange Maps has a cartogram showing the proportion of breaking news stories in the U.S. You might notice that Georgia is larger than Texas – some of the commenters point out that during the time the news stories were extracted (1994 to 1998), Atlanta was getting a lot of coverage because of the Olympics.

Meanwhile, from Marginal Revolution:

Federal spending is lower in areas where there is less press coverage of the local members of congress.

Previously: The singles scene

My online crush has returned!

18 Apr

And I didn’t even know it until this morning when I was bored at work and scrolling through old Pecanne Log posts. The Plug(!!!!) a.k.a. the greatest online zine possibly ever. About two years ago, Jay Carlson (the most adorable man I have ever met in my life) brought the endeavor to a halt out of fear that he had peaked and could not out-do himself further. Apparently he is back, and has been! My boredom at work has officially ceased now. I interviewed Jay for my zine, I Swallowed A Fly, that I put out in Athens forever and a few of years ago and it was one of the best interviews of my life. Sweet peppermint tea drinking Jay. I remember it like it was yesterday. Memories of the candy eating to find the best candy ever (and Jason loosing his mind) and interviews with surly grocery store employees are coming back to me in a flood. Great news!

Breaking news in dog biscuits

16 Apr

OH MY GOD, AJC PETS, SHUT UP!

The post related to this headline is even stupider, if you can believe it. How do you know your dog is a Republican? “It barks at passing neighbors and traffic; home security is very important to them.” How do you know your dog is a Democrat? ” It wants to end the war of dogs vs. cats once and for all.”

I like reading about puppies rescued from the clutches of animal cruelty instead.

Previously: Pet peeve

Trouble brewing somewhere underneath Ponce

16 Apr

I read ATLWeekly for all my local gossip. 90% of the time I have no idea what it’s about since it all involves a very specific group of men about town, but I feel more informed and that’s what counts. Anyway, the rumormonger(s) at ATLWeekly is reporting a front room vs. back room feud that is causing some tension between patrons of the crawl spaces known as the Drunken Unicorn and MJQ, triggered by a letter very closely akin to Martin Luther’s 95 Theses. Except this particular inflammatory document was nailed to a pole in front of Green’s Liquor instead of a cathedral, and its diatribe is addressed to “the Stupid Unicorn” instead of Roman Catholic authorities, and it pontificates on the controversial topic of who started dancing to Britpop first instead of the sale of indulgences.

Sorry, I really tried to fit a Diet of Worms joke in there but just couldn’t make it work.

Freestyle Thursday

10 Apr

To out-do Chunklet’s video find today, here’s Stockbridge resident TK23Baller performing a heartfelt slow-jam freestyle off the top of his dome for his babygirl Mallory, sent to us by a helpful reader:

11/14/07 forever.

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