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PSA: Your summer jam

28 May

Yes, we do get a lot of hits from searches for Fall Out Boy, but our #1 post by a long shot is Bitch, You Ride the MARTA Bus. Let’s give the people what they want – at Ohmpark you can actually DOWNLOAD Eric Guenther‘s remix of the Southwest Dekalb High School drum majors’ hit and carry it with you always and forever. Wait till the guitars start wailing! You never knew it could get any better than the original, did you? Well, IT JUST DID! Thank you, Eric Guenther.

Gas prices are so high that the AJC has reporter Mark Davis basically writing a daily article on how everyone hates paying $4+ a gallon. He’s already so tired of this the complainy platitudes of this assignment’s theme that he’s using dessert metaphors, and it’s not even June yet. I can’t wait to watch his use of the pie conceit and other rhetorical tropes get more and more elaborate as the summer progresses. The moral of this story is: girl, go buy a Breeze card.

I also want to assure our readership that we at Pecanne Log will never talk about high gas prices in Atlanta or elsewhere except when we are making fun of someone else for doing so first. Even then we will try to keep that commentary to a minimum, unless Thomas Wheatley gets really out of control. Gas prices are booooooring, and there are so many other things to discuss in the summer in Atlanta like heat, humidity, afternoon thunderstorms, traffic, and events at Centennial Olympic Park. And the Whigs’ blog.

Previously: The art of newspaper writing

Chock full of glitter and doom

16 May

In my posession right now, I hold a ticket to see Tom Waits on July 5th at the Fox. Granted, not the ideal location, as my ticket was $82.50 for upper balcony, but hey I’ll take what I can get. When I mentioned this to my boss, a devout Tom Waits fan she started screaming fanatically in the phone and then hung up on me (I’m guessing to order her own tickets). So, for all of those who share our love, you better get on Ticketmaster now. You probably should have before even reading the rest of this post if you want a ticket. Anyways, hopefully you won’t suffer the same fate I did with his show at Tabernacle on his last tour through Atlanta. I was five minutes after the tickets sold out. In 3 minutes or something ridiculous. I missed Waits’ crazy banter once, but I will NOT again.

I am going to have Fishing with John to prepare myself for fish stuffing pants goodness that I anticipate will be this show.

Who is “Whitney”?!?!?!?!?!

5 May

Music blogs across the nation are a-buzz! WHO IS WHITNEY PETTY, DEERHUNTER’S NEW GUITARIST? Is she a real person or a hot suburban stoner cheerleader guitarbot built by Bradford Cox out of his magic “blog” technology? How will she reconcile her love for Aerosmith with Deerhunter’s ambient musical autism? Does Thomas Wheatley know her since they share an alma mater? More importantly, do Thomas and Whitney realize they may have more in common than they thought? And why was she at a party four years ago with two other hippies?

Details are still coming in! The intrepid bloggers at Pitchfork got their hands on her last name so who knows what other deep dark secrets they will dig up!

Go see my friend’s band play or I will abuse caps lock even more

1 May

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I am mad with power because I have a blog and can command you to do things! Things that you will undoubtedly not do, but whatevs! I SAID WHATEVS!

Anyway, next Monday, May 5 go see my high school friend’s band the XYZ Affair perform at the EARL. This could be your ONE CHANCE IN LIFE to see/hear an ACTUAL REAL-LIFE INDIE POP BAND FROM BROOKLYN, NEW YORK play.

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Maybe you have seen the XYZ Affair’s famous video that was all the rage on the internet for a couple of weeks last summer STARRING EVEN MORE OF MY HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE FRIENDS! More importantly (to some), it features a bunch of old Nickelodeon stars.

Spoiler alert: Ferguson from Clarissa Explains It All is bald now. Yeah, that’s right, I’m two degrees of separation from MELISSA JOAN HART and you can be too.

They’re opening for Morning State (Atlanta) and Jukebox the Ghost (D.C.). $8, 9 PM.

Nuptial jams

28 Apr

Okay, so I did not make it to the Inman Park Parade after hyping it here. Instead I went to a wedding and at the reception I enjoyed the sizzling sounds of THE BEST WEDDING BAND IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, Flavor. I have the giant blister on my heel to prove it. I strongly recommend Flavor for any special event, even those where alcohol is not served in abundance.

I <3 Public Access

26 Apr

For all of you that couldn’t quite get behind Ms Tyler and her vagina power, I hope this will bring tears to your eyes. Make sure to pay attention when Eli tries to rhyme something with cripple.

Lemley Night Live

18 Apr

Inspired by Delilah’s Friday Nite Girls, I think we should start a chapter of what we’ll call the Sunday Evening Choristers where we get together to do some sort of activity while we listen to radio personality John Lemley host Tapestry. Maybe if we are feeling really wacky we can call in and have John Lemley dedicate a Byzantine liturgy to our handbell choir director who was really encouraging when we were going through a hard time.

John Lemley is so famous he has his own Wikipedia entry. Learn it! It has a few gross oversights, however, by omitting any mention of John Lemley’s cookbook collection and his cats Tillie, Leona and Lexie. Why aren’t John Lemley and I bff!?!?

Speaking of WABE celebs, a couple of weeks back Thomas Wheatley got to chat about the Golden Sleaze awards with Steve Goss, the velvet-voiced Atlanta radio veteran. I am 100% sure this was the highlight of Thomas’s life, and that’s no small potatoes because Thomas got to hear me read aloud some of my original works written when I was 19 and we shared a creative writing class.

It’s here!

17 Apr

Behold, the longer trailer for We Fun: Atlanta, GA Inside Out. See if you spot anyone you know! The documentary comes out in August.

It includes what looks like live footage of the disastrous Atlanta magazine photo shoot.

Previously: Bradford Cox’s Beauty Secrets REVEALED!

Another place to drink in East Atlanta

16 Apr

Finally! The old Echo Lounge space will be opening very, very soon as the East Atlanta Icehouse. Before you think to yourself, “Now that’s a stupid name!” like I did, know that the building actually was a storage shed for ice in the 1920s. That’s why it’s so ugly. The new venue hopes to have “variety” in its live musical acts, which I hope doesn’t translate to “crappy open mic nights.” Additionally, Icehouse will actually serve food, instead of just saying it does like Echo Lounge did so it could get a cheaper liquor license.

I just hope the name won’t be confusing and ultimately disappointing for diehard fans of the Australian ’80s band also called Icehouse!

Don’t forget your extra batteries

16 Apr

The glut of springtime weekend festivities started a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t believe it’s really spring until the back-to-back weekends of 420 Fest and the Inman Park Festival.

Starting on Saturday, we get Sweetwater’s annual 420 Fest in Candler Park, Nophest 4&20 Festival in Reynoldstown, and Record Store Day at Criminal Records in Little 5 Points. (So convenient geographically!)

The first-ever annual Record Store Day, invented by the masterminds at Criminal, will be celebrated nationwide at independent record stores, and since we’re so lucky to have some particularly excellent indie music sellers and bands who support them, Criminal has a pretty exciting lineup – Anna Kramer and the Lost Cause, Hope for Agoldensummer, Noot d’ Noot, Janelle Monae, the Coathangers, Judi Chicago, Club Awesome, and more – all for free, with sidewalk sales and giveaways and other things.

But I think what we’ve all be preparing for, emotionally and fashion-wise, is the Atlanta Eagle‘s 21st birthday celebration weekend. Specifically, tomorrow night’s Flashlight Party!

What exactly does a Flashlight Party at a leather/bear bar entail? Well, we know one thing – IT WILL BE DARK, BOYS! Eage, I celebrate your longevity, but I will stick to places with overhead lighting and access to Step It Up and Dance. I imagine the party will look something like this, though: (more…)

Trouble brewing somewhere underneath Ponce

16 Apr

I read ATLWeekly for all my local gossip. 90% of the time I have no idea what it’s about since it all involves a very specific group of men about town, but I feel more informed and that’s what counts. Anyway, the rumormonger(s) at ATLWeekly is reporting a front room vs. back room feud that is causing some tension between patrons of the crawl spaces known as the Drunken Unicorn and MJQ, triggered by a letter very closely akin to Martin Luther’s 95 Theses. Except this particular inflammatory document was nailed to a pole in front of Green’s Liquor instead of a cathedral, and its diatribe is addressed to “the Stupid Unicorn” instead of Roman Catholic authorities, and it pontificates on the controversial topic of who started dancing to Britpop first instead of the sale of indulgences.

Sorry, I really tried to fit a Diet of Worms joke in there but just couldn’t make it work.

Choose your own composition

11 Apr

Georgia Tech professor Jason Freeman has teamed up with designer Patricia Reed and violinist Maja Cerar to create a choose your own adventure approach to music composition. The program, Graph Theory, allows you, as the composer to choose between 61 different fragments of a violin solo and choose the order they are played in as well as the length of time each fragment is repeated. When you have finished your composition, it is archived and later played at performances. This is definitely one of those things that takes a few times to completely master the game. But, once you do you’ll get to leave feeling like a musical prodigy.

Graph Theory will be on display at the Spruill Gallery for the exhibition, Breaking New Ground. The exhibition runs from May 8 to June 26. The exhibition will also feature Kathryn Refi, Danielle Roney, Dick Robinson, Philip Galanter, Carla Diana, and Gil Weinberg. During the exhibition, the violinist will be coming to play back some of what is composed. 

Crank dat Yank

21 Mar

Lake Lanier isn’t responding to our recent deluge of rainfall and now water is 15% pricier in Atlanta. What’s a drought-stricken city to do?

Well, last December a young local chemist by the name of Yella Boy Trent invented a substance called Yank, a substitute for water. Then Bankhead High School students started chugging it and, well, you know the rest: The kids turn into dancing zombies whose faces look like Kelly Kapowski after her fateful run-in with that zit cream scam and they take over, the school was shut down by men in biohazard suits, the government denies the incident ever took place, and Yank was never mentioned again.

UNTIL THIS VIDEO FOOTAGE SURFACED:

The best part of the music video might be the principal Mrs. Watkins. She appears to have come right off the set of an early John Waters film.

Party line

16 Mar

Now you have a direct line to the Black Lips when they’re on the road. Call their new hotline at 949-836-7407 “if you are in trouble, need advice, or are just plain lonely.”

This will probably be a combination of Delilah, They Might Be Giants’ Dial-A-Song, Mike Schank’s hotline, and the chat lines that advertise in the back of Creative Loafing. Call before they forget to pay the bill next month or they learn the hard way what overage charges are.

(via the Black Lips’ blog)

Geography lesson

10 Mar

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“There is a ‘ho belt‘ phenomenon nearly synonymous with the ‘Bible Belt’.” (via Strange Maps)

As Andisheh pointed out, 678 is not represented in Ludacris’s seminal hit “Area Codes,” although 404 and 770 get shout outs right away – even before Luda identifies himself as the Abominable Ho Man.

Previously: Low self-esteem fashion

Brown Bomber, y’all don’t want none!

26 Feb

It’s no secret that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown were so classy that they were trashy. On Being Bobby Brown they made suburban Atlanta, blended family life, and true love an aspiration for millions of television viewers, and then tore that dream away from us with their messy divorce that possibly contributed to the high rates of home foreclosures and homelessness in the U.S. Bobby taught men around the world that even if they happened to be pebble-toothed thugs with possibly damaged frontal lobes, they could still score the prettiest, most talented girl in the room and turn her into a constipated crackhead punchline.

Now Street Carnage has exclusive audio of Bobby Brown in the studio. After crashing someone else’s studio session, he engaged in a battle of wits with Whitney and then probably smoked crack – all caught on (audio) tape. Then he freestyled as the Brown Bomber (“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, a, b, c, d, f, g”), crooned a semi-autobiographical slow jam (“All that I’ve got to give is I/All that I’ve got to love is me”), and rapped some more (something about a waistline maybe?). Enjoy.

Stop-motion garage girls

25 Feb

If you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the Coathangers’ video for their song “Tonya Harding.” It’s really cute.

(via Cable & Tweed)

OMG!!!! Gossip Girl and the Gay South!!!!

8 Feb

The Bradford Cox? Probably so, because Benjamin Smoke is there too. And on the Dan Humphrey‘s crotch of all places. Someone find this magazine and tell me all about it. Except I don’t care about the Bradford Cox bits, jut what Chuck Bass says and does. XOXO.

Previously: Bradford Cox’s beauty secrets REVEALED

In my opinion: Best and worst band names

8 Feb

If I was getting paid, I might research Atlanta music scene nomenclature more extensively or poll the general public instead of thinking of the first names that popped into my head or that I saw on band flyers today.

Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?

Okay, fine – the bad news, but first let me add this disclaimer: I know that a couple of the bands in the first list have hearts of solid gold and make wonderful music, so let it be known this is not a character assault, just a completely subjective and superficial observation.

Worst

  • Trances Arc – One time I went to a Trances Arc show with my wide-legged raver cargo pants full of light sticks and E, only to find out they’re a regular rock band. Just kidding, that never happened to me, but I bet it’s a mistake someone else has made.
  • Groove Stain – I don’t need to explain this.
  • The Julia Dream – Not only does this name sound like a group that would have played in a Battle of the Bands with the Frozen Embryos, but to further that image (see right) they have a song called “Aliens All Laughing” about how the aliens are, um, all laughing at the humans for having bombs.
  • Gringo Star – Why!?!?! A Fir-Ju Well was such a great name.

Honorable mentions: One Hand Loves the Other, Continue and Save

Best

  • The Orphins – You feel pity for them because their parents are dead. And they did a clever thing with the re-spelling. Like the Beatles!
  • Sealions – Cute animals and compound words! Two of my favorite things!
  • Judi Chicago – Sounds like a sassy drag queen MC. On the logic I used with Trances Arc, I should dislike this band name, but instead I’m quite fond of it.
  • Pony Bones – That’s called assonance, and it’s lovely.
  • The Coathangers – It’s so un-PC and bratty. And also it’s fun to be like, “He’s dating a Coathanger,” or something like that. You know what I mean.

Honorable mentions: Early Modern Witch Trials, Attractive Eighties Women*, Noot d’Noot

*They might have been even better as Attractive Eightees Women (via Cable & Tweed).

That’s my high school!

4 Feb

So, I know the only things I have been posting lately are videos, but ones related to me in the oddest ways keep presenting themselves. This one was filmed in my old high school and my sister’s current one! Don’t you wish Marietta had been THIS cool?

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