If you don’t know what day it is, then you probably still haven’t gotten a 2009 calendar. That’s okay, because the Plug has helpfully crafted a month-by-month breakdown of our newest year complete with illustrations and notations of all the important dates of which we need be mindful – e.g. March 29, “Dress rehearsal for Halloween;” November 4, “Razzle Dazzle Day.” Miss Darrow is probably peeing in her pantaloons over this. Print it out, now, before the next national holiday!
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How to remember when stuff happens
8 JanAcknowledging the lull
12 NovYou know that things have been quiet around here, and we kind of turned into a voting blog which is the worst kind since that is all the internet has been about for months and months. Now I am using all my creative energy while Thomas Wheatley is on sabbatical to pen a masterpiece for the Creative Loafing fiction contest. I guess my vignette falls under the genre of fan fiction – not to give too much away, but it’s about one time a graduate student is invited by a prominent journalist to get their nails done together and watch Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Oh wait, that’s not fiction, that’s my real life. Disqualified.
(Also, so sorry about so many photos in previous posts not showing up. I am working on it bit by bit after making some sort of major mistake earlier this week. They will probably all be fully restored the week of final exams, when I should be doing other things terribly important to my future.)
Best practices for achieving and increasing voter confidence
6 Nov
THANK YOU, Fulton County Department of Registration and Elections, for this helpful Voter Information Guide containing useful information on how to register to vote, early and advance voting, absentee ballots, and what I can expect on election day, which I received by mail on the afternoon of Tuesday, November 4.
It’s interesting that so many independent groups took it upon themselves to actively register and educate voters in Atlanta over the last year or so, but the one county agency formally responsible for completing that task and paid for with tax money sends me a crappy voter guide brochure the day of the actual election.
Oh well, it was postmarked way back on October 30. Maybe it’s my post office’s fault that voter turnout was so low this year.
Didn’t we have a historically low primary election turnout earlier this year? (I would check but the AJC archives are awful.) Do people honestly have the balls to openly celebrate their candidate’s win or mourn a candidate’s loss when they didn’t even bother to go to the polls to cast a vote? This is baffling to me. I can’t believe that given over a month to make it to the polls so many people chose not to show up. Well, maybe they were ignorant anyway. Good riddance.
Syphillis and Gonorhea
8 OctHow many of you used to call DFCS on your parents when you were younger? Just to prove a point. I know one of my favorite hobbies as a child was that every time my mom and I would be at the grocery store and she would either snap at me for being a tyrant or not buy me cookies or something else stupid I would always grab her phone and pretend to call child services in attempt to get her to cave. Smart as a fox she was though and never gave in to my dials.
Undisclosed source: I don’t know, DFCS has their hands full. My uncle used to work for them… let’s just say he knew a pair of twins named syphilis and gonorrhea. Crack babies…
People name their kids Syphilis and Gonorrhea?! The situation is worse than I thought. Apparently in Fulton county alone almost $60 million was spent on Child Services costs. I am sure there is a national map of how Georgia compares to the rest of the country but I can’t find one as of now. Does anyone know what our stats are?
EVERYONE CALM DOWN
29 Sep
Wow, what a week – and it’s only Monday! But don’t worry, everything will go back to normal! Remember last year when we thought we would have no water ever again, and we sort of don’t but we still take 20 minute showers like it doesn’t matter? And how even today we are basically out of gas but everyone still drives everywhere all the time and we’ll just use grosser gas so it doesn’t matter?
And let’s not all freak out about Creative Loafing’s delicate financial state right now. Everyone has that second cousin who’s filed for bankruptcy at least half a dozen times and still drives a nicer car than you do and owns a jade baby grand piano. Maybe it’s like that! Bankruptcy doesn’t have to mean $0. And perhaps this will be a time for CL to reevaluate its terrible logo and horrendously orange website and go for something a bit more demure while it’s trying to beef up the online action.
Meanwhile, our governor galivants around Spain and Italy on a $50,000/head “economic development” tour, which everyone knows is code for “retracing Diane Lane’s travels to self-discovery in Under the Tuscan Sun.” (He loves that movie.) Oh yeah, the woman who wrote that book is from Georgia so it’s a totally legit trip!
Hire Tori’s helping hands!
11 Sep
We saw a little message from our hilarious friend Tori LaConsay yesterday that we thought we should pass on:
Hey there!
If you’re still in Atlanta or any surrounding areas, I would like to pick up some of your most tedious, menial or just plain weird or grossest odd-jobs from here until the end of the year.
I’d hoped I can pick up at least one odd job a day or a few a week – and chronicle what I’m doing for all to see on a blog. The weirder the job, the better. I’d also hoped that I could make an average of $20.00 a day (or more) between now and the end of the year. Hire me…I’ll do just about anything as long as it’s legal…and spread the word. I’ve got references, I’ve got time and I know you have something you’ve been dreading to do.
Forward this message to your friends, too! Take me to the limit!As you may know, I work as a freelance writer, designer, and in the film/tel. industry. I’m also the daughter of a pecan farmer, so I’m no stranger to manual labor. I’m down with alphabetizing, filing, cleaning, organizing, scanning photos, grooming your dog (I groom mine), reading a newspaper to Grandma, or changing adult diapers, for that matter. And let’s face it, I’m a big’un, so I could stand to lose a few pounds in the process.
Why am I doing this? I guess you could say that the industry’s been rough on me this year, so I wanted to try a little experiment – a somewhat down-and-out 27 year-old’s take on the good old-fashioned lemonade stand entrepreneur. And, of course, I want it to be funny. Really funny, so that’s why I’m hoping you’ll have something bizarre for me to do. But I’m trying to make dough, too…so anything is negotiable.
I’m kinda excited about this idea.
So hit me with your odd jobs!!! I’ll start as soon asap!
You’ll be able to read about her rotating variety of short-term employment on her new blog Lemonade Standoff, but in the meantime, rack your brain for all the necessary but undesirable tasks you could underpay Tori to do and contact her! Personally, I think with her glasses on she could totally pass for Sarah Palin…
Social lives and empty promises
7 SepSo this past week we attended the Regator launch party, which was way cooler than what you might expect an internet party to be like. Check out Regator for yourself or read their FAQ, because I can’t even explain what a blog is much less the seemingly high-tech endeavor going on over there.
We did not have enough time to schedule the spray tans and weaves necessary to be presentable at any kind of event, so we stood in the corner without name tags getting drunk and not looking anyone else in the eye and avoiding the photographer at all costs. Oh, we’re so sorry for being shy and anti-social now. Also, this is the first time since the start of Pecanne Log that the three of us have appeared at the same place at the same time and we did not want to draw attention to this fact for fear of an assassination attempt by those assholes at the Wren’s Nest.
But for those of you dying to meet us, don’t you worry! Pecanne Log will be turning one year old soon, which is like 21 in internet years, so we are figuring out the best possible way to trick people to buy us drinks for posting funny videos on the internet once a week. Since so far we haven’t been able to resolve the age-old cupcakes v. cookie cake debate (weigh in with your opinion in the comments) (only if it’s for cookie cake), frivolous details like date and location are still undecided.
Here is a photo of one of our daily editorial meetings.
Double D
5 Sep
I’m going to confess that the past several weeks have been pretty tumultuous for me with all the instability going on over at the AJC. My first and only concern was the fate of Mark Davis, because no one in the journalism world knows onomotopoeia like that guy! Boy, was I in for a treat my first terrible day back in class when our professor handed out a photocopy of one of Davis’ articles! My life has only gone reassuringly uphill since that day in August because I know that Mark is still covering the beat he knows best – non-humans:
- “Hoschton has plenty to (scare) crow about”:
Will Hoschton take away the Cincinnati society’s straw-filled crown? Bettis, who contacted the Guinness people earlier this year and got the approval to challenge the world record, wasn’t ready to declare victory.
“There will be some scarecrows they [Guinness] don’t like,” said Bettis. “It may be November until we know.”
City Clerk Kristen Smith was willing to, well, crow a little bit about the town’s accomplishment.
- “Paw prints in judge’s office spell end for masked bandits“:
But the raccoon goofed: it left a trail of tracks across a stack of federal memos. The judge called in his staff and others to solicit their opinions. Their verdict: Procyon lotor, a raccoon, had busted in.
I know Thomas Wheatley is getting jealous and needy just reading this post about another reporter for another paper! Well, with the double shake-up at Creative Loafing I got a little uneasy about him as well. But I’ll finish the script for our pilot for ABC Family and we’ll be golden. It’s a situation comedy about a journalist, a grad student, and a professor/former city employee who live as roommates in a downtown loft and negotiate their ambivalent feelings about gentrification while trying to get book deals and roles in major motion pictures.
Previously: This Incomperable Lande: Mark Davis on Zoo Atlanta
Check your facts
14 Jul
You know, nothing bothers me more than people who aspire to live in New York shit-talking Atlanta. It’s like how you are with your best friend in college – you’ll complain about her being crazy and irresponsible to anyone who will listen, but if anyone so much as remarks on her three-week crying jag you want to break their thumbs. So it goes with me and our fair city. And the heart of the matter is that it’s ultimately like comparing apples and oranges (or BIG APPLES and PEACHES, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) – they’re just really different cities. The other heart (the black, empty one) of the matter is CRY ME A RIVER. MOVE BACK IF IT’S SO AWFUL HERE.
Many of my reactions upon reading the New York Sun article Miss Darrow posted yesterday were echoed in the comments on Fresh Loaf, so I don’t need to rehash what you all have already read.
The gross mischaracterization of the South – especially equating residents of a major metropolitan with an outdated hillbilly stereotype – infuriates me because it’s not only unfair but wrong. I was pissed off enough last week after reading Jeffrey Hill’s post on Southern infrastructure on Next American City because of this little gem with which he concluded: (more…)
It’s possessive
1 Jul
How can you trust people who don’t even know the difference between a contraction and a personal pronoun to keep another whale shark alive?
I vote to name it R.I.P. UGA VI DGD.
Previously: Swimming with sharks
Conspiracy alert: Tainted tomatoes
17 Jun
I find it HIGHLY SUSPECT that right after Creative Loafing’s own boy wonder Thomas Wheatley’s tomato plants start flourishing, the nation is paralyzed with fear of salmonella from…you guessed it – TOMATOES. Even more suspicious is the fact that Thomas was home sick last week and watching I Am Legend instead of attending the most important press conference of his career. Was it a case of salmonella he was trying to keep on the DL? Is this another Atlanta media conspiracy? You be the judge, starting with these transcripts:
PS – Thomas wants all of Atlanta to see this.
A word from our sponsors
21 MayWe want to thank our friends at COMPUTERLAND for providing us with the technology required to run such a top-of-the-line blog as this. Thanks also to the Stone Mountain laser show artists for crafting the high-tech graphics for the following commercial!
War and Peace
21 MayJust as your jobs get boring for the summer, a hush has fallen over Pecanne Log. That is due to the 10 hours a day we are spending putting together a Smoking Gun-caliber exclusive to be released a week after Thomas Wheatley’s big cover story hits the Creative Loafing newstands. We have the personal accounts and the document trail to prove Thomas actually spent three years writing textbooks for a Pentacostal homeschool curriculum and watching Antiques Roadshow with his great aunt. However, he did almost get a ticket for loitering when he arrived at work an hour early to read Boys Life in his parked car.
Orson lost a tooth!
14 AprGo to my blog for pictures and all of the news!
Sorry the picture isn’t bigger.
I feel like Orson and Mamalikeys baby are the Pecanne Log mascots, and so big news in their lives must be shared!
Public art bike tour rescheduled
4 Apr
Because of the tornadoes, the public bike tour I had posted about some time ago has been rescheduled. Here is the updated information:
Don’t miss out! Sunday April 6th 2:30 pm – SOPO east atl
All politics aside for one day, let’s ride together for public art. Not only will you experience the camaraderie of group cycling, but this is a wonderful opportunity to learn about where the public art in our city came from and who made it. I also hope to prove that biking and walking are truly the best ways to experience a city. Leave your gas hog at home and bring your own locomotion.
Thanks to everyone who supports the mission of The Atlanta Percent for Art Coalition. Our biggest goal beyond correcting the percent ordinance is to promote awareness of public art and create unity around the public spaces we cherish.
Exclusive Pecanne Log calendar
20 Mar
Look up there at the top of the page, we have a little tab called Calendar now! If you can’t spot it, here’s a link. Miss Darrow* has ventured even deeper into the world of typing things into boxes in our very strict blog template and made this for all of you so you can keep up with all the great art events around town and not be forced to check the other local blogs to your right.
Maybe Mamalikey and I might add non-art-related things to it but we don’t get out much so it would just be wishful thinking.
Also, to keep you interested in the Pecanne Log calendar, it will feature beautiful one-of-a-kind art photography updated regularly, just like the kitten calendar in your dorm room. This element of the calendar was not Miss Darrow’s idea, because she has good taste. So scroll down quickly if you don’t love firefighters and babies!
*By the way, kudos to her for the smashing success of the Draw Off at Eyedrum! I mean, judging from the photos it looked like a smashing success…
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