All your Christmas shopping in one fell swoop

Since I have to save up all my money for my Halloween costume this month, I guess I’ll go ahead and share with you the fantastic treasures I have uncovered that maybe someone else can take advantage of. I am going to immediately regret this, I just know it, but if you don’t buy them who will?!?!!?!?

Ugh, I would totally love to get this as a gift for someone who’s moved away to greener pastures, but the fact that I can see skin through the shirt kind of grosses me out (sorry, Alternative). Someone else buy this please and if I ever see you wearing it out I will buy you a drink. Or maybe you should buy me a drink. I can’t remember.

How old school Underground Atlanta is it that this glass was photographed against a backdrop of BLACK SATIN? You know, Highland Row Antiques had an Underground Atlanta souvenir glass this weekend – I think it had the symbol for Aries on it too? Not my sign so I was indifferent.

(While I’m thinking of it, let me point out that every time I go to Highland Row right when they open on their first weekend of the month sale I see nothing but attractive girls and like one guy, and he’s always the one buying the individual deer legs. Guys need to get down there and warm up to some special lady browsing for a coffee table. She could be looking for someone to nest with and it could be you!)

A long time ago (before the Olympics) this is what everyone in Atlanta looked like, it’s true! Sometimes if I am in the right part of Cabbagetown at the right time of the evening I still see a few of this dying breed. Anyway, buy this salt and pepper shaker and you will never forget the days when Atlantans went barefoot because the streets and utility wires were not yet littered with abandoned single shoes.

Speaking of the Olympics….hey, what time Izzy it? Doesn’t matter, because I’m sure this 15-year-old Swatch doesn’t work anymore. But it is a great accessory, especially when you are hanging out with your cool urban designer friends from Chicago who brag about how awesome their city’s public art program is. You can respond (while checking the time), “Oh, well, I saw some cool art in our Centennial Olympic Park last weekend. It is a five-story Coke bottle full of colored lights. The cool thing is it plays Christmas carols in December. Why I never!”

The description on the listing for this pack of playing cards says, “the Glamour Girl looks like Elizabeth Taylor.” No, dumbass, she looks like Vivien Leigh. How cute is that type?

Now this is a real antique from the late 19th century. The caption says, “TURNING THE MEAT–A GEORGIA BARBECUE AT THE ATLANTA EXPOSITION.”

Even I think collectible plates are kind of lame. I’m only putting this here because I just read the DIY plate wall instructions on Design Sponge.

Remember when WAGA was a TV channel with metro Atlanta news, Ken Cook, and Jeffersons reruns, and not MyFoxAtlanta.com, a place for people from Fayetteville to write anonymous racist comments about literally everything? This shirt reminds us how far we’ve come in really giving citizens a voice in local media.

This engraving from Harper’s Weekly is a really heartbreaking find – it’s a collection of Atlanta architecture from 1887. All the magnificent residences you see here have been replaced with Post apartments and hideous federal buildings.

Hey, what do you get the person who has everything? Well, if he can afford to have everything then he probably doesn’t have…an unwanted child. Golden Pheasant condoms were made in Atlanta and world-renowned for being full of holes, according to the National Institutes of Health archives:

Whoops! If anyone buys any of this stuff, let me know so I can come rob you.

Previously: Atlanta’s famous roadside boutiques

Tags: christmas shopping, ebay, golden pheasant condoms, underground atlanta, waga