How to remember when stuff happens

If you don’t know what day it is, then you probably still haven’t gotten a 2009 calendar. That’s okay, because the Plug has helpfully crafted a month-by-month breakdown of our newest year complete with illustrations and notations of all the important dates of which we need be mindful – e.g. March 29, “Dress rehearsal for Halloween;” November 4, “Razzle Dazzle Day.” Miss Darrow is probably peeing in her pantaloons over this. Print it out, now, before the next national holiday!