This Incomperable Lande: Mark Davis on Zoo Atlanta

Finally, Mark Davis is relieved of his gas price coverage duties, leaving some other AJC hack to write about this one time gas was under $4 at this one gas station, and he can get back to his calling – romantic stories about zoo animals, nature prose rife with all sorts of literary tropes: onomontopoeia, puns, euphemisms for animal sex, fun facts, anthropomorphism, more onomontopoeia, more euphemisms for animal sex, and lots of ambiance. His latest 500-word masterpieces are “Trunk with joy” (6/14), about elephants’ toothpicks, and “Bear the great outdoors” (6/28), some helpful tips for when wildlife wanders into your suburban backyard.

Some of the most poignant moments:

Dear homeowner, it’s easy to understand that prickly feeling along your neck, that sweat on your palms. They’re coming out of the woods, long-clawed and short-tempered —- bears!

Elephants run through molars like boys run through sneakers.

But what about bear No. 5? Maybe he’s in the far, shadowed reaches of your backyard. What was that sound back there?

Whump! The onetime tree quivered as it landed in the dirt again. It was an enriching moment.

I can’t wait for the anthology and/or his novel about warthog love!

Previously: PSA: Your summer jam

Tags: anthropomorphism, mark davis, zoo atlanta